Rain, Rain, Rain

As most of you know from the news, we've had A LOT of rain here lately. Many of you Oregonians laugh at our Californian freak out over rain, but nothing here is built for this much rain. Roofs are leaking all over the place. Streets and parking lots are flooded and I actually saw a Red Lobster pumping water off their flat roof today. I had never really noticed before, but there are very few drains anywhere around here, which leads to all this flooding.

Jason, the kids and I are planning on venturing over to Yosemite tomorrow. The snow should be really beautiful after this week of heavy precipitation. The kids are VERY excited. I'm trying not to dwell on how cold and wet I'm going to get :-).

Next week looks CRAZY for me, so I'm planning on sitting around and doing nothing on Sunday. Starting Monday, I'll have my neighbor's daughter every afternoon. I have another 2 kids all day Tuesday and half day Wednesday. I will also be shuttling a few other kids to and from appointments for a friend who's having surgery, and making a meal for 8 extra people on Monday (Stew. YUM!). I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but at least I won't be bored.

Jason and I are looking into school options for the kids next year. Due to money mismanagement in our current school district, they have to cut 10% of the budget next year, in a district that is already really tight. Last year, they laid off all teachers who had been hired within the last DECADE! Class sizes went up, and it looks like they will be going up again. I said I would never homeschool. I'm just not a teacher. But I've been looking into it a bit lately and homeschooling is definitely not the way I pictured it in my head. We have several federally funded charter schools around here that provide all of the school books/curriculum free of charge. They also have lots of classes the kids can attend weekly, like music, gymnastics, karate, comic book writing, piano, etc. I'm still really nervous at the idea of being responsible for the education of my children (GULP) and am not convinced I'm organized enough to pull this off, but we will definitely be looking into this a bit more.

Friday nights are our family night and tonight, we have chosen to watch the movie "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs". I'm making mashed potatoes (the clouds) and meatballs for dinner and then we will have banana splits during the movie. Should be fun :-).

Musings

It has been such a long time since I've typed anything here. Life became more "normal" as we settled into our life in CA and to be completely honest, Facebook took over as I did most of our updates there. But today, I came here because I have a lot on my mind that I want to share and Facebook just isn't the place for it.

The last two years have been quite the journey for our family. God uprooted us from Oregon and plopped us down here in CA, 600 miles away from anyone we knew. It was a REALLY tough first year. We had to get used to being a family again, with Jason home in the evenings, on weekends and on holidays (which I'm still trying to get used to. A day off work and still getting paid. That's CRAZY!!) and the homesickness was intense.

One of the first things God did to us here was to shake our faith. In a sense, He slapped us upside the head and said: "WAKE UP!!". I say us because God has been teaching Jason and me very similar lessons the past couple years (go figure). Once we recommitted our lives to Him, He gave us both a strong sense that He was going to use us, that He was going to demand quite a bit from us, but first we needed to get our financial house in order. So we worked on that, so much so that I became obsessed with getting out of debt. Don't get me wrong. Getting out of debt is important and is still the direction we are heading, but especially during the second part of 2009, God started asking us to give in various ways which did not fit my "get out of debt as quickly as possible" scenario. But we did it. I cannot tell you how many times, day after day, I would open my Bible to do my quiet time and God would direct me to a passage on true giving, not the superficial kind, but the kind that really costs you. And then I would upload a podcast not knowing what it was about, and it would be about giving. And then I'd go to church and our pastor did a 6 week series on giving. Ok, seriously! I get it!! And yet God knew that He needed to grind it into my brain because I have a short memory :-). One of the illustrations that I remember the most vividly during this process is from a sermon by Craig Groeschel (http://live.lifechurch.tv). He spoke about three mentalities we can have about giving: a cup mentality, where you give a little here and there, a bucket mentality, where you give quite a bit from what you have left over, and a barn mentality, where you give until it hurts and then you give some more. And I prayed over and over that I would have the barn mentality, that I would be able to give until it hurt and then continue giving.

During this process, I begged God almost daily to show me what He wanted me to do. PLEASE, God, give me a purpose! James was in school half days, Gabby was home with me and I was going stir crazy! I needed something to do, but God kept saying wait. I was sooooo frustrated, but kept getting the same message: "Not now. Wait." Oh, the frustration, but I waited, because I knew that if I started something when God was saying wait, it wouldn't end well. I knew this because I'd tried it a few times before ;-).

About mid-November, an idea of a way to serve was planted in my head, but again, WAIT. I knew I needed to wait until after Christmas to make a decision on this particular thing, so I waited. When we got back from Oregon, I was listening to another podcast (LOVE life church, btw. Very inspiring sermons). I can't remember at all what the sermon was about, but the whole "barn giving" picture came back and I knew what I needed to do. It was clear as day, so I picked up my phone and texted my friend Sara and asked her to call me. She called me right away and I told her that I would watch her two kids twice a week for free. I knew it was what I was supposed to do, but after a few days, I started getting cranky about it. After all, this was MY time, MY life and I could be getting a job or something. Then I had to laugh. Did I really think that I could have a barn mentality and not feel the pinch? Even now, I think that's hysterical, but without realizing it, I had built this image in my head that I could feel good about being a sacrificial giver, without feeling the sacrifice :-). I started watching the kids the first week of January and it has turned out to be much easier and rewarding than I expected. Gabby loves having Elise (age 4) to play with and Ian (almost 2) is a doll!

This morning, I was thinking again about getting a job. It's really hard for me to "feel" my value when I don't bring in any money. Crazy I know, because what I do here at home is important, but it's the natural highways in my brain that continue to take me back to "get a job". Anyway, again, I got the message "WAIT". Then I talked to my neighbor, who is heading out of town for a week for her grandpa's funeral. She asked me if I could take her daughter for a few hours every afternoon, so her husband, who will be working from home during this time, can get some work done. Um, GULP, ok. And then it hit me. This is what God had in store for me, at least for now. This is what He has been prepping me for. To be His hands and feet in day to day situations. To show His love to those around me. One of the other things I'm working on right now is arranging meals and help with errands for a stay at home mom who home-schools her six kids and is having a hysterectomy on Monday. All it costs me is a bit of time on the phone, some cooking time and a bit of driving back and forth. I consider that bucket giving, but if I had closed my ears to God, if I had stubbornly gotten a job to make myself feel better, I would not have been available to do that. I thank Him for making Himself so clear and I am humbled that He is using me despite all of my many weaknesses.

One of the other reoccurring fights I've had with myself has been my desire to sell our van. I have revisited this issue over and over. It would free up money in our budget. It would get us out of debt sooner, but every time I seriously considered it, it didn't feel like the right decision. Now, all the seats in the van are being used. Oh, and every car seat we have, including the extra 2 we had in the garage and couldn't seem to give away, are being used. Why couldn't we give away our car seats when we tried? Hmm, I wonder ;-).

I am truly blessed, and I can't wait to see where God leads us next. And in the mean time, pass the tylenol. These kids are loud! :-).

It's a Crazy, Insane, Mixed Up, Unexplainable World... And other ramblings by Jason

Apparently I have taken over blogging duties from Becca...  as such, you now will have to put up with my brain droppings about once a week....

So James is home from the hospital and the slow recovery continues... it's easy to exhaust him but he is acting completely normal.  Our little brush with mortality has taught us a few things and we are relaxing and enjoying life a little more...  Gabby is great, our little princess...   The kids are growing fast...

I just finished a huge project at work and am preparing for my own vacation... I bought a new ultra wide angle lens and am going to do photography while the kids are in Oregon with Becca...

For those of you reading this who want to see Becca and the kids, you'll have to schedule it with her as I have no clue what their schedule is...

Now as for Becca - and congrats are in order to Mary and Nate for the birth of their child... wow....

It was really hard for Becca to be so far away... she wanted to be there for Mary and the baby.  She really misses Mary (sorry she doesn't miss the rest of you :-p ) and has been hyper emotional about it...  she misses her family...  So we have come up with a compromise....  Becca and the kids will live in Oregon, I will live in a cardboard box in Salida CA and send all my money up to make it possible for her to be near family...  it seems the logical solution...  But in all seriousness, one of the decisions we made after James brush with mortality is that we need to budget for more frequent visits... 4-6 times a year. expect to see us more in the second half of 2009 and beyond. 

James got accepted to Salida Elementary School on the other side of town for Kindergarten.  They run a modified traditional schedule so we have a shorter summer, 4 weeks off at Christmas, and 2 weeks at Easter.  It will make holiday travel much easier.

On the national front, Harold was Sulu in the new Star Trek Movie, Kumar works for Obama.  And based on the functioning of Democrats and Obama, the actor Kal Penn (kumar) may be the only qualified person in that administration.  I haven't figured out where Neal Patrick Harris figures into it all yet....  perhaps the next supreme court justice?

Anyway, brain droppings concluded for the moment....

jason 

An overdue blog post - post hospital... in a swirling abyss of exhaustion

Jason Here - this post will be rather incoherent but then again, so are both Becca and I right now...

After a lovely 14 day stay at the Modesto Sutter Home Memorial Hospital Spa and Retreat, our 5 year old trooper without the helmet came home.  His ruptured appendix has been cut away and patched, new spackle, some calking, some bailing twine, and a little duct tape and he is as good as new.  Problem is, his parents aged about 50 years in the ordeal...  

James is home, we are checking his temperature 3-5 times per day and no fever yet.  If he has a fever we will go back to the hospital for another lovely stay of undetermined length.  You see, he has an unknown fluid pocket left in his belly.  They believe that it is either Pus from an infection or fluid left from the flushing of the site where his fluid drain was.  They took 2 CT scans and radiology just couldn't tell.  He has an appetite and was acting energetic and normal.  The regular course of action would be to take him off all the antibiotics and see if he develops a fever.  Why stay at the hospital for that?  

James has a CT scan monday and a follow up appointment with the surgeon on tuesday.  No fevers yet and he is still acting normal... all good signs... probably just saline in his belly.... but we still are not quite "off guard".

This experience has taught us amazing lessons:

• Everyone thinks that bad things happen to someone else's child or family... never to your own... it's a sense of false security that took us by surprise.
• We have a great family, great friends, and a great church who loves us... a great reminder.
• We must continue to act on our desire to serve others.  We were blessed with a large group of people serving us.  Betty came down to  help with Gabby for a few days, we had a 2 weeks of solid meals from our church friends and family.  My boss gave me great flexibility in scheduling to be able to accomodate both the hospital and work.  Both of our cell phones regularly went dead from phone calls from family and friends calling to check on us, let us vent, cry, and otherwise bloviate.  Nobody had to do any of those things and yet they did.  It would be wrong not to return the favor to others.
• We have learned to re-invest in our nuclear family.  We have been living on a shoe-string budget trying to get out of debt.  Time to take a break from that for a few months, build up some savings, and re-prioritize our spending... more family outings and fun, more investment in good times, less shoestring by choice.  I have been blessed with a good paying job... we are going to have some fun even if it means putting of the paying of our debt a few months... we might even buy matching furniture or something...

I am also blessed with great insurance.  We have 100% coverage for everything, no copays, nothing out of pocket for anything after a $3600 deductible.  My company supplies the $3600 in an HSA account for us... so for the rest of the year, we have no medical expenses.

Even if the company didn't provide the deductible, for about $550 per month (pd by employer), the $3600 is a reasonable deductible for a high deductible insurance plan.  The tradeoff would be worth it and we would have paid the deductible and been fine...  what a blessing...

So we are home, no complications yet other than me going blind and rebecca sleeping all the time...  will update again soon...  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So remember boys and girls....  "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Political Musings - The Fall Of An Empire Occurs Slowly... Over Time... And is caused by the people responsible for maintaining it.

Jason here... Political musings...  turn away now if you wish to survive....:-P

Had a conversation with Mom today where she made a political point to me that caused me to ponder.  It was the garden variety Obama is better than Bush comment.  If you look, you can find an entire news media pushing the same view (that's not new... historically the news media has never been balanced, fair, or objective.  objectivity was a creation of journalism schools of the 60's and 70's).  I had to ask myself... is it really "better" or just different?

Looking at what is going on today in our country I can find very little connection between our "leaders" and the common citizen.  I see political wrangling and manipulation.  I see a President who has the media on his side and an opposition party in disarray.  I see Chicago Style politics with a constant drumbeat to forgive the method if it achieves the objective.  Don't pay your taxes?  You could work for the Obama administration!  Against signing statements?  Ignore Obama making his, scream about the previous guy.  Upset about debt run up by previous administrations?  Ignore the debt that my children and grandchildren will be forced to pay from this administration.   Upset about the war...  vote for the guy who will get us out of it... except he's not going to do that.  Biden admitted yesterday that it was all about oil but the administration doesn't have the guts to simply pull everything out and let the middle east be..  isn't that what the left has preached for years?   15 years in EMS has taught me to believe less than 10% of what I hear.   It's not what you say... it's what you do...  word's mean nothing... actions are everything...

I am surrounded by "shovel ready" projects waiting for Federal Stimulus dollars but 100% democratic party controlled congress instead is building a generational power base based on people needing the federal government.  Could it be that the Obama administration lied about money going to "shovel ready" projects?   Already the Federal government controls banks, car companies, and other businesses.  Under the Obama administration, the US government has actually refused to accept payments on TARP and other Federal tax dollars from companies that received the money and want to pay it back.  If they paid it back, the government loses control... can't have that.

I am reminded of world history... the fall of the Roman Empire.  The parallels are there and aren't too hard to see...

General consensus among historians are that these factors led to the fall of the Roman Empire:

1. Christianity

Over time, Church leaders became influential and took away power from the emperor. Christian beliefs conflicted with the working of empire.

2. Barbarians and Vandals

Rome embraced the barbarian but also lost territory and revenue to them, especially Carthaginian Africa, which they lost to the Vandals.

3. Decay

One can spot decay in many areas going back to the crises of the Republic under the Gracchi, Sulla and Marius, but in the imperial period and in the military it meant men were no longer trained right and the invincible Roman army was no longer.

4. Inflation

By the time of Claudius II Gothicus (268-270 A.D.) the amount of silver in a supposedly 100% silver denarius was only .02%. This led to or was severe inflation, depending on how you define inflation.

5. Lead

The presence of lead in the drinking water leached in from the water pipes, from glazes, and food preparation could have contributed to heavy metal poisoning. Lead was associated with contraception and recognized as a deadly poison.

6. Economic

Economic factors are cited as a major cause of the fall of Rome. Some of the major factors, like inflation, are discussed elsewhere. But there were also lesser problems with the economy of Rome that combined together to escalate financial stress. These include:

• Poor management,
• The dole (bread and circuses), and
• Hoarding.

7. Division of the Empire

The Roman Empire was split not just geographically, but culturally, with a Latin Empire and a Greek one, the latter of which may have survived because it had most of the population, a better military, more money, and better rule.

8. Hoarding and Deficit

Causes of the fall of Rome include economic decay through hoarding of bullion, barbarian looting of the treasury, and trade deficit.

I can see parallels here in many areas...  we are currently in a period of deflation right now but inflation is coming right around the corner...  I am left stunned by this comment by one of our founding fathers...

Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." John Adams

When morality is lost in a culture or society, poor decision making is the result.  And while the left blames Reagan, the right blames Clinton, the left blames Nixon, the right blames Johnson, the left blames Bush, the right blames Obama;  the truth is plain.  Beneath the partisan bickering we have lost the collective morality in the USA and the things that the country was founded on.  We have lost our morality in favor of more easy and seductive populism. 

I now am faced with the burden of preparing my children for a world that I know will look nothing like the one I was raised in.  No longer is it just "wanting my child to be more prosperous than I".  Now it is something else entirely... How do I prepare them for a future where morality is no longer a fundamental understanding in society  and going the direction of the populist wind is called leadership?

Rant over...

Oops!

Oops. I tried to attach this at the end of the post but it showed up at the beginning and for some reason, blogger won't let me cut and paste. I made this cake for a friend's co-workers son's 4th birthday. I was soooo nervous it would crash before the party because it had to travel an hour and a half to San Francisco, but it made it!

Now here's the post I was trying to put BEFORE the picture:

Sometimes I forget to post here because most of you are on Facebook. However, for the few of you who have not kept up with the times ;-), here's a quick update.

I turned in my notice at Michaels. My last day will be May 2 and I can't wait! There is so much I want to do! The kids and I are getting excited for our trip to Oregon. We should be coming up Thursday, May 28th and staying about 2 weeks. Jason will be staying in CA, working and taking advantage of the peace and quiet to travel and take pictures.

The kids are growing like weeds. James' loose tooth isn't very loose anymore. If he doesn't get it out in the next month or so, he will have to have the dentist pull it :-(. His permanent teeth are coming in behind his baby teeth and will get crooked if we can't get the baby teeth out.

Not really much else to post. Here's a picture of what I spent my week on:

A vent

Why do I always pick dud jobs? Or maybe it's just me. Maybe all jobs are duds and I just don't like to put up with all the junk. Because I have a tendency to get jobs and quit them within a couple months, I told myself when I accepted the job at Michaels that I would stay there until June no matter what, and honestly, that's the only reason I'm still there. My last post was all about how wonderful my job is, and in theory it is, but... GRRR! I'm so frustrated! I hate feeling like a pawn, something to use, abuse and discard! I went in to work Saturday and taught two classes. I had 4 students registered but only 3 showed up. I was informed AFTER I taught the classes that the policy had changed as of that week and that instead of getting paid $33.50 for each class, I would only get $25.50 because I didn't have 4 students show up. I just got a $70 a month pay cut with NO warning. The crazy part about it is that next week, I will have four students in one class and 5 in the other, but they pay based on the first class attendance. I have been told by my Wilton manager that there is nothing they can do. It's in the computer and they can't override it. I am soooo mad I can't see straight! And it's not even about the money. We have definitely been blessed and while the extra $70 would be nice, it won't make or break us. It's more about feeling completely stepped on. Michaels doesn't want to lose money, so they take it out of our hide. And I'm frustrated with myself. They pay me for my classroom time, but not for all the work I do at home to promote it, to plan my classes and to make sure that I know what I'm talking about. Jason says I should just put in the bare minimum, what they pay me for, but I can't seem to make myself do that. If it's not perfect, why bother? I know it can't be perfect, but I don't want it to be sub-par because I didn't even try. Ugh! I'm so busy and would love to have my personal time back, but I don't want to quit yet another job. Why do I keep doing this? GRRR!