I'm supposed to have my interview tomorrow for the lead position at work and I need to pull my name out of the pool, which has been a tough choice for me. Both Jason and I have realized that me working more than a couple days a week is really hard on family life. On one hand, it's nice to realize that I do play a crucial role in this family and that just because I'm not bringing in a bunch of money doesn't mean that my contribution isn't valuable. But on the other hand, it's frustrating because I know that I could do well with WDS. I've been their top seller since the day I started and really enjoy what I do. The kids will only be little once, though, and I have a lifetime to work. In three years, Gabby and James will both be in school full-time and I will be able to work to my heart's content :-).
I think I may just have realized what it is about my job that is such a relief for me. At work, I have a start time and an end time. I have numbers the next day that tell me how well or how poorly I did my job and when the dishes are done, I don't have to do them again until the next day :-). At home, my "job description" isn't nearly as clear, the dishes never stay done and I don't get a report the next day letting me know whether or not I'm doing things right. So while I'm looking forward to having more time for cakes, play dates at the park, Bible studies and time with Jason, I'm sad to cut back on the instant feedback and structure that a job has been providing for me, not to mention the break from the monotony of day to day life.
4 comments:
In the long run, you won't regret your decision. How many people, when they get older, wish they could go back and spend more time with their kids. As you say, they are only young once, and when they are teenagers and you look back on it, you will think the time flew by. I'm praying you will know just how special you are in God's sight and that you might know the joy and satisfaction that comes from being where He wants you to be at this time.
Love you!
Mom
That's so great to hear Becca. I didn't get to have deep conversations with you too often so it's so cool to have you sharing it here and giving all of us moms some clear insight about our "jobs." I totally get it, I want to be the best at everything... even being a mom... but come on, that is totally unrealistic! And when I get to heaven I'm sure whether or not people loved my photography isn't going to make a big difference :-) Love you and can't wait to see you in a couple months!
Jojo
I think you just need to come home and we'll eat bon bons while we let our kiddos play! You're right though. Our babies are only little once!
Hats off to you, kid. I can identify with the desire for objective measurements for achievement. Don't know how you moms do it, but I'm really glad you do!
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