2010What

What a year it has been, and we are less only 6 weeks into it! This year started out with the typical post-holiday blahs. A normal and expected part of life for me at least. Then we went into 2 weeks of solid, almost non-stop rain, and I was reminded how much I am affected by the rain, and not in a good way. Then we had the CRAZIEST week we've had in a long time. Jason was working 14 to 16 hours a day and I was watching 2 to 4 extra kids every single day. By the end of the week, I was a walking zombie, just trying to put one foot in front of the other. The insanity ended last Saturday and then Gabby got a cold, which I quickly caught, gave to James and then Jason. We kept James home from school on Monday because he just wasn't feeling great. He looked really tired and was complaining of a stomach ache, so we kept him home. That night, he had a fever, which he had for most of the following 3 days. Thursday, I called the pediatrician, who told me that if he still had a fever on Friday to bring him in. Friday, his fever was gone, but he just didn't look right and had had a few pulminary retractions (when the skin between your ribs gets sucked in when you breathe) during the night, so I made an appointment anyway. I didn't want to, since our insurance year had started over and with our high deductible, everything for the first $3600 is out of pocket. I had a feeling the doctor would want to do xrays and everything and I didn't want to throw the money away if it wasn't needed. I knew we were heading into the weekend though, so I took him in. They didn't have any slots available, but they said they would squeeze us in around 2:10 and to prepare for a long wait. We got to the office early and waited maybe 15mns or so. Not too terribly long. The nurse examined James, then the doctor came in. She couldn't hear any air movement in his lungs, said he was way too tight and had the nurse give him a nebulizer treatment and then tried again. Still couldn't hear anything. Gave him another treatment. Still nothing. Put him on oxygen to try to get his oxygen sats up. The doc comes back in the room and asks him how he's doing. He's wearing the oxygen mask and says: "Much (breath) better. I'm (breath) great!" She looks at him and says: "No you're not! You wouldn't be talking like that if you were great!" (side note: yes, her bedside manner leaves something to be desired :-).) I ask her if we are heading down the street, since her office is about 4 blocks from the office and she says yes. Amazingly, I was quite calm about it. Maybe James is making me immune to panic. I went in to the office expecting to get a prescription for antibiotics with a pneumonia diagnosis, like in November, but instead we ended up in the hospital for the weekend.

James was admitted immediately, without having to go through the ER thankfully! We walk up to the peds wing and as soon as we walked in, the nurses recognized James and were all excited to see him. I immediately thought that it just doesn't seem right that a bunch of peds nurses in the hospital should recognize my son. There is just something wrong with that picture.

James got a great nurse that day. One who knew how to put in an IV, which she got in on the first try. YAY!!

We stayed in the hospital two nights and were home in time for the super bowl on Sunday. James had a rough night last night, but was doing much better in the morning and has had a great day so far. We now have a nebulizer on hand for him. He was diagnosed with Dual lobe pneumonia with mild asthma. He shouldn't need regular medications, but when he gets sick, he is expected to get sicker than "normal" kids and will likely need to be nebulized.

A friend lost her cousin to complications of pneumonia today. He was in his thirties, with a wife and two kids. When I heard that, I was humbled and so thankful that God has given me another day with my son. I never thought I would have a chronically ill child, and I'm not sure he even counts as "chronically ill", but I have to say that 3 potentially deadly illnesses in 9 months makes me incredibly thankful for what we have. Thank you, Lord, for your goodness!

Pictures

I was planning on uploading a couple pictures from this week and then realized that I have so many pictures I have yet to share, so I tossed in a few more. Enjoy!

Early October, Gabby had a couple of her friends over for a tea party. They had a great time!

What a bunch of lovely, well-mannered children ;-)!

Gabby as Barbie for Halloween

Gabby's gymnastics class - Halloween 2009

Gabby's gymnastics class w/ teachers Amanda (left) and Ms. Denise (right)

James as a pilgrim for the school's Thanksgiving assembly

Rudolf, for the holiday assembly

James' last picture with Santa, before realizing that Santa isn't real. *sniff*. The elf is Mrs. Passalaqua, the principal.

James' class with Santa, Mrs Passalaqua and Mrs. Gregory, his teacher. The little blond boy in the red shirt in the front row is James' best buddy, Jakob.

When I went to check on James before going to bed a couple nights ago, this is what I found. If you look closely, you will notice that he has his Bible open to the book of James, his favorite book of the Bible :-).

And this is a picture of what we got in our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) box this week. I found out about this from my neighbor and signed up. For about $19 a week, we get a box of vegetables straight from the farm. We never know what is going to be in it, and it's always fun to discover what the box holds every Thursday when we go pick it up. This week, I was soooo excited to see the kiwi! And there are never enough carrots. Both Gabby and I hated carrots until we got the boxes and discovered that "real" carrots are actually delicious. Oh, and I've discovered rutabagas, which I think are simply heavenly. YUM!! One of the upsides to living in CA is that we can get boxes all year long because things grow all year long around here :-).

Today

I was really hoping to have some pictures for you all today. I even made sure to have Jason take some on his phone so he could email them to me and I could post them here, but the files are too big :-(. So no pictures.

We didn't end up going to Yosemite. They had 8 feet of snow and all the roads were closed. They also had an avalanche warning, so we stayed home and created our own volcano. I found a website that had instructions on how to make a homemade volcano using baking soda and vinegar. James and I "constructed" the mountain out of a sort of paste, then he and Gabby painted it. There was a soda bottle inside it that we filled with warm water, red and orange food coloring and a bit of dish soap. Then we poured vinegar into it and it bubbled up and over. The first "eruption" wasn't very big, so I dumped the liquid out and started over, using a lot more baking soda and vinegar. The kids were leaning over the mountain watching me pour in the vinegar. All of a sudden, Gabby screamed as the orange and red bubbles spewed out the top. That was the reaction I was going for! :-). James then proceeded to make "goo" out of the paste and liquid. He had a great time and the mess wasn't really all that hard to clean up :-).

Other than that adventure and my morning run, today has been a really low key, charge my batteries kind of day. I got a call this morning from a lady in the church who wants to bring the family I'm helping out a meal on Monday, so I got to cross one thing off my to do list for next week already.

Now for a little kiddo news. Gabby has been a dream child lately. She has definitely come out of her cranky stage and is just a little angel 90% of the time. God definitely blessed her with a giving heart. I walked into her room a couple days ago and she had cut one of her favorite bracelets. When I asked her why she did that, she said: "Mommy, sometimes we have to think about other people, not ourselves. I need to give these jewels to help people, to help the homeless." She had cut her bracelet apart so she could use the individual "jewels" to help others! What I could learn from her! She's never been very materialistic. She just doesn't really care about "stuff". She currently has $32.92 in her piggy bank because she rarely spends her money. Most of the time, she either saves it, or gives it to James. We have discussed this with them and did eventually tell them that they couldn't give each other money anymore. James was enjoying the exchange a bit too frequently ;-). We talked to them about this a few weeks ago and I think they may have forgotten because James really wanted to buy something this week, but he only had $1.50 and it was $2.50. Gabby gave him a dollar and I pretended I didn't know what was going on because she gets so much joy from giving. I didn't want to take that away from her. I figure I'll keep tabs on things and if her money starts walking over to James' pocket a bit too frequently, I'll have to become more "aware" of what is going on and putting a stop to it. One of my parenting dilemmas with Gabby right now is how do I shape her desire to give so that she continues to enjoy giving without becoming a doormat for others to trample on. Baby steps. Baby steps.

James is so glad to be back in school. His month-long break at Christmas was starting feel really long and he was excited to see his friends again. He also told me that he thinks his teacher is, in his words, "perfect because she knows how to keep me interested and I never get bored." He got to read to the principal on Thursday as an award for reading 350 books (also known as chapters, depending on the length of the book being read) at home. He seemed to have a great time :-).

That's it for now. Hopefully I will be able to put pictures up soon.

Rain, Rain, Rain

As most of you know from the news, we've had A LOT of rain here lately. Many of you Oregonians laugh at our Californian freak out over rain, but nothing here is built for this much rain. Roofs are leaking all over the place. Streets and parking lots are flooded and I actually saw a Red Lobster pumping water off their flat roof today. I had never really noticed before, but there are very few drains anywhere around here, which leads to all this flooding.

Jason, the kids and I are planning on venturing over to Yosemite tomorrow. The snow should be really beautiful after this week of heavy precipitation. The kids are VERY excited. I'm trying not to dwell on how cold and wet I'm going to get :-).

Next week looks CRAZY for me, so I'm planning on sitting around and doing nothing on Sunday. Starting Monday, I'll have my neighbor's daughter every afternoon. I have another 2 kids all day Tuesday and half day Wednesday. I will also be shuttling a few other kids to and from appointments for a friend who's having surgery, and making a meal for 8 extra people on Monday (Stew. YUM!). I'm exhausted just thinking about it, but at least I won't be bored.

Jason and I are looking into school options for the kids next year. Due to money mismanagement in our current school district, they have to cut 10% of the budget next year, in a district that is already really tight. Last year, they laid off all teachers who had been hired within the last DECADE! Class sizes went up, and it looks like they will be going up again. I said I would never homeschool. I'm just not a teacher. But I've been looking into it a bit lately and homeschooling is definitely not the way I pictured it in my head. We have several federally funded charter schools around here that provide all of the school books/curriculum free of charge. They also have lots of classes the kids can attend weekly, like music, gymnastics, karate, comic book writing, piano, etc. I'm still really nervous at the idea of being responsible for the education of my children (GULP) and am not convinced I'm organized enough to pull this off, but we will definitely be looking into this a bit more.

Friday nights are our family night and tonight, we have chosen to watch the movie "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs". I'm making mashed potatoes (the clouds) and meatballs for dinner and then we will have banana splits during the movie. Should be fun :-).

Musings

It has been such a long time since I've typed anything here. Life became more "normal" as we settled into our life in CA and to be completely honest, Facebook took over as I did most of our updates there. But today, I came here because I have a lot on my mind that I want to share and Facebook just isn't the place for it.

The last two years have been quite the journey for our family. God uprooted us from Oregon and plopped us down here in CA, 600 miles away from anyone we knew. It was a REALLY tough first year. We had to get used to being a family again, with Jason home in the evenings, on weekends and on holidays (which I'm still trying to get used to. A day off work and still getting paid. That's CRAZY!!) and the homesickness was intense.

One of the first things God did to us here was to shake our faith. In a sense, He slapped us upside the head and said: "WAKE UP!!". I say us because God has been teaching Jason and me very similar lessons the past couple years (go figure). Once we recommitted our lives to Him, He gave us both a strong sense that He was going to use us, that He was going to demand quite a bit from us, but first we needed to get our financial house in order. So we worked on that, so much so that I became obsessed with getting out of debt. Don't get me wrong. Getting out of debt is important and is still the direction we are heading, but especially during the second part of 2009, God started asking us to give in various ways which did not fit my "get out of debt as quickly as possible" scenario. But we did it. I cannot tell you how many times, day after day, I would open my Bible to do my quiet time and God would direct me to a passage on true giving, not the superficial kind, but the kind that really costs you. And then I would upload a podcast not knowing what it was about, and it would be about giving. And then I'd go to church and our pastor did a 6 week series on giving. Ok, seriously! I get it!! And yet God knew that He needed to grind it into my brain because I have a short memory :-). One of the illustrations that I remember the most vividly during this process is from a sermon by Craig Groeschel (http://live.lifechurch.tv). He spoke about three mentalities we can have about giving: a cup mentality, where you give a little here and there, a bucket mentality, where you give quite a bit from what you have left over, and a barn mentality, where you give until it hurts and then you give some more. And I prayed over and over that I would have the barn mentality, that I would be able to give until it hurt and then continue giving.

During this process, I begged God almost daily to show me what He wanted me to do. PLEASE, God, give me a purpose! James was in school half days, Gabby was home with me and I was going stir crazy! I needed something to do, but God kept saying wait. I was sooooo frustrated, but kept getting the same message: "Not now. Wait." Oh, the frustration, but I waited, because I knew that if I started something when God was saying wait, it wouldn't end well. I knew this because I'd tried it a few times before ;-).

About mid-November, an idea of a way to serve was planted in my head, but again, WAIT. I knew I needed to wait until after Christmas to make a decision on this particular thing, so I waited. When we got back from Oregon, I was listening to another podcast (LOVE life church, btw. Very inspiring sermons). I can't remember at all what the sermon was about, but the whole "barn giving" picture came back and I knew what I needed to do. It was clear as day, so I picked up my phone and texted my friend Sara and asked her to call me. She called me right away and I told her that I would watch her two kids twice a week for free. I knew it was what I was supposed to do, but after a few days, I started getting cranky about it. After all, this was MY time, MY life and I could be getting a job or something. Then I had to laugh. Did I really think that I could have a barn mentality and not feel the pinch? Even now, I think that's hysterical, but without realizing it, I had built this image in my head that I could feel good about being a sacrificial giver, without feeling the sacrifice :-). I started watching the kids the first week of January and it has turned out to be much easier and rewarding than I expected. Gabby loves having Elise (age 4) to play with and Ian (almost 2) is a doll!

This morning, I was thinking again about getting a job. It's really hard for me to "feel" my value when I don't bring in any money. Crazy I know, because what I do here at home is important, but it's the natural highways in my brain that continue to take me back to "get a job". Anyway, again, I got the message "WAIT". Then I talked to my neighbor, who is heading out of town for a week for her grandpa's funeral. She asked me if I could take her daughter for a few hours every afternoon, so her husband, who will be working from home during this time, can get some work done. Um, GULP, ok. And then it hit me. This is what God had in store for me, at least for now. This is what He has been prepping me for. To be His hands and feet in day to day situations. To show His love to those around me. One of the other things I'm working on right now is arranging meals and help with errands for a stay at home mom who home-schools her six kids and is having a hysterectomy on Monday. All it costs me is a bit of time on the phone, some cooking time and a bit of driving back and forth. I consider that bucket giving, but if I had closed my ears to God, if I had stubbornly gotten a job to make myself feel better, I would not have been available to do that. I thank Him for making Himself so clear and I am humbled that He is using me despite all of my many weaknesses.

One of the other reoccurring fights I've had with myself has been my desire to sell our van. I have revisited this issue over and over. It would free up money in our budget. It would get us out of debt sooner, but every time I seriously considered it, it didn't feel like the right decision. Now, all the seats in the van are being used. Oh, and every car seat we have, including the extra 2 we had in the garage and couldn't seem to give away, are being used. Why couldn't we give away our car seats when we tried? Hmm, I wonder ;-).

I am truly blessed, and I can't wait to see where God leads us next. And in the mean time, pass the tylenol. These kids are loud! :-).

It's a Crazy, Insane, Mixed Up, Unexplainable World... And other ramblings by Jason

Apparently I have taken over blogging duties from Becca...  as such, you now will have to put up with my brain droppings about once a week....

So James is home from the hospital and the slow recovery continues... it's easy to exhaust him but he is acting completely normal.  Our little brush with mortality has taught us a few things and we are relaxing and enjoying life a little more...  Gabby is great, our little princess...   The kids are growing fast...

I just finished a huge project at work and am preparing for my own vacation... I bought a new ultra wide angle lens and am going to do photography while the kids are in Oregon with Becca...

For those of you reading this who want to see Becca and the kids, you'll have to schedule it with her as I have no clue what their schedule is...

Now as for Becca - and congrats are in order to Mary and Nate for the birth of their child... wow....

It was really hard for Becca to be so far away... she wanted to be there for Mary and the baby.  She really misses Mary (sorry she doesn't miss the rest of you :-p ) and has been hyper emotional about it...  she misses her family...  So we have come up with a compromise....  Becca and the kids will live in Oregon, I will live in a cardboard box in Salida CA and send all my money up to make it possible for her to be near family...  it seems the logical solution...  But in all seriousness, one of the decisions we made after James brush with mortality is that we need to budget for more frequent visits... 4-6 times a year. expect to see us more in the second half of 2009 and beyond. 

James got accepted to Salida Elementary School on the other side of town for Kindergarten.  They run a modified traditional schedule so we have a shorter summer, 4 weeks off at Christmas, and 2 weeks at Easter.  It will make holiday travel much easier.

On the national front, Harold was Sulu in the new Star Trek Movie, Kumar works for Obama.  And based on the functioning of Democrats and Obama, the actor Kal Penn (kumar) may be the only qualified person in that administration.  I haven't figured out where Neal Patrick Harris figures into it all yet....  perhaps the next supreme court justice?

Anyway, brain droppings concluded for the moment....

jason 

An overdue blog post - post hospital... in a swirling abyss of exhaustion

Jason Here - this post will be rather incoherent but then again, so are both Becca and I right now...

After a lovely 14 day stay at the Modesto Sutter Home Memorial Hospital Spa and Retreat, our 5 year old trooper without the helmet came home.  His ruptured appendix has been cut away and patched, new spackle, some calking, some bailing twine, and a little duct tape and he is as good as new.  Problem is, his parents aged about 50 years in the ordeal...  

James is home, we are checking his temperature 3-5 times per day and no fever yet.  If he has a fever we will go back to the hospital for another lovely stay of undetermined length.  You see, he has an unknown fluid pocket left in his belly.  They believe that it is either Pus from an infection or fluid left from the flushing of the site where his fluid drain was.  They took 2 CT scans and radiology just couldn't tell.  He has an appetite and was acting energetic and normal.  The regular course of action would be to take him off all the antibiotics and see if he develops a fever.  Why stay at the hospital for that?  

James has a CT scan monday and a follow up appointment with the surgeon on tuesday.  No fevers yet and he is still acting normal... all good signs... probably just saline in his belly.... but we still are not quite "off guard".

This experience has taught us amazing lessons:

• Everyone thinks that bad things happen to someone else's child or family... never to your own... it's a sense of false security that took us by surprise.
• We have a great family, great friends, and a great church who loves us... a great reminder.
• We must continue to act on our desire to serve others.  We were blessed with a large group of people serving us.  Betty came down to  help with Gabby for a few days, we had a 2 weeks of solid meals from our church friends and family.  My boss gave me great flexibility in scheduling to be able to accomodate both the hospital and work.  Both of our cell phones regularly went dead from phone calls from family and friends calling to check on us, let us vent, cry, and otherwise bloviate.  Nobody had to do any of those things and yet they did.  It would be wrong not to return the favor to others.
• We have learned to re-invest in our nuclear family.  We have been living on a shoe-string budget trying to get out of debt.  Time to take a break from that for a few months, build up some savings, and re-prioritize our spending... more family outings and fun, more investment in good times, less shoestring by choice.  I have been blessed with a good paying job... we are going to have some fun even if it means putting of the paying of our debt a few months... we might even buy matching furniture or something...

I am also blessed with great insurance.  We have 100% coverage for everything, no copays, nothing out of pocket for anything after a $3600 deductible.  My company supplies the $3600 in an HSA account for us... so for the rest of the year, we have no medical expenses.

Even if the company didn't provide the deductible, for about $550 per month (pd by employer), the $3600 is a reasonable deductible for a high deductible insurance plan.  The tradeoff would be worth it and we would have paid the deductible and been fine...  what a blessing...

So we are home, no complications yet other than me going blind and rebecca sleeping all the time...  will update again soon...  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So remember boys and girls....  "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Political Musings - The Fall Of An Empire Occurs Slowly... Over Time... And is caused by the people responsible for maintaining it.

Jason here... Political musings...  turn away now if you wish to survive....:-P

Had a conversation with Mom today where she made a political point to me that caused me to ponder.  It was the garden variety Obama is better than Bush comment.  If you look, you can find an entire news media pushing the same view (that's not new... historically the news media has never been balanced, fair, or objective.  objectivity was a creation of journalism schools of the 60's and 70's).  I had to ask myself... is it really "better" or just different?

Looking at what is going on today in our country I can find very little connection between our "leaders" and the common citizen.  I see political wrangling and manipulation.  I see a President who has the media on his side and an opposition party in disarray.  I see Chicago Style politics with a constant drumbeat to forgive the method if it achieves the objective.  Don't pay your taxes?  You could work for the Obama administration!  Against signing statements?  Ignore Obama making his, scream about the previous guy.  Upset about debt run up by previous administrations?  Ignore the debt that my children and grandchildren will be forced to pay from this administration.   Upset about the war...  vote for the guy who will get us out of it... except he's not going to do that.  Biden admitted yesterday that it was all about oil but the administration doesn't have the guts to simply pull everything out and let the middle east be..  isn't that what the left has preached for years?   15 years in EMS has taught me to believe less than 10% of what I hear.   It's not what you say... it's what you do...  word's mean nothing... actions are everything...

I am surrounded by "shovel ready" projects waiting for Federal Stimulus dollars but 100% democratic party controlled congress instead is building a generational power base based on people needing the federal government.  Could it be that the Obama administration lied about money going to "shovel ready" projects?   Already the Federal government controls banks, car companies, and other businesses.  Under the Obama administration, the US government has actually refused to accept payments on TARP and other Federal tax dollars from companies that received the money and want to pay it back.  If they paid it back, the government loses control... can't have that.

I am reminded of world history... the fall of the Roman Empire.  The parallels are there and aren't too hard to see...

General consensus among historians are that these factors led to the fall of the Roman Empire:

1. Christianity

Over time, Church leaders became influential and took away power from the emperor. Christian beliefs conflicted with the working of empire.

2. Barbarians and Vandals

Rome embraced the barbarian but also lost territory and revenue to them, especially Carthaginian Africa, which they lost to the Vandals.

3. Decay

One can spot decay in many areas going back to the crises of the Republic under the Gracchi, Sulla and Marius, but in the imperial period and in the military it meant men were no longer trained right and the invincible Roman army was no longer.

4. Inflation

By the time of Claudius II Gothicus (268-270 A.D.) the amount of silver in a supposedly 100% silver denarius was only .02%. This led to or was severe inflation, depending on how you define inflation.

5. Lead

The presence of lead in the drinking water leached in from the water pipes, from glazes, and food preparation could have contributed to heavy metal poisoning. Lead was associated with contraception and recognized as a deadly poison.

6. Economic

Economic factors are cited as a major cause of the fall of Rome. Some of the major factors, like inflation, are discussed elsewhere. But there were also lesser problems with the economy of Rome that combined together to escalate financial stress. These include:

• Poor management,
• The dole (bread and circuses), and
• Hoarding.

7. Division of the Empire

The Roman Empire was split not just geographically, but culturally, with a Latin Empire and a Greek one, the latter of which may have survived because it had most of the population, a better military, more money, and better rule.

8. Hoarding and Deficit

Causes of the fall of Rome include economic decay through hoarding of bullion, barbarian looting of the treasury, and trade deficit.

I can see parallels here in many areas...  we are currently in a period of deflation right now but inflation is coming right around the corner...  I am left stunned by this comment by one of our founding fathers...

Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." John Adams

When morality is lost in a culture or society, poor decision making is the result.  And while the left blames Reagan, the right blames Clinton, the left blames Nixon, the right blames Johnson, the left blames Bush, the right blames Obama;  the truth is plain.  Beneath the partisan bickering we have lost the collective morality in the USA and the things that the country was founded on.  We have lost our morality in favor of more easy and seductive populism. 

I now am faced with the burden of preparing my children for a world that I know will look nothing like the one I was raised in.  No longer is it just "wanting my child to be more prosperous than I".  Now it is something else entirely... How do I prepare them for a future where morality is no longer a fundamental understanding in society  and going the direction of the populist wind is called leadership?

Rant over...

Oops!

Oops. I tried to attach this at the end of the post but it showed up at the beginning and for some reason, blogger won't let me cut and paste. I made this cake for a friend's co-workers son's 4th birthday. I was soooo nervous it would crash before the party because it had to travel an hour and a half to San Francisco, but it made it!

Now here's the post I was trying to put BEFORE the picture:

Sometimes I forget to post here because most of you are on Facebook. However, for the few of you who have not kept up with the times ;-), here's a quick update.

I turned in my notice at Michaels. My last day will be May 2 and I can't wait! There is so much I want to do! The kids and I are getting excited for our trip to Oregon. We should be coming up Thursday, May 28th and staying about 2 weeks. Jason will be staying in CA, working and taking advantage of the peace and quiet to travel and take pictures.

The kids are growing like weeds. James' loose tooth isn't very loose anymore. If he doesn't get it out in the next month or so, he will have to have the dentist pull it :-(. His permanent teeth are coming in behind his baby teeth and will get crooked if we can't get the baby teeth out.

Not really much else to post. Here's a picture of what I spent my week on:

A vent

Why do I always pick dud jobs? Or maybe it's just me. Maybe all jobs are duds and I just don't like to put up with all the junk. Because I have a tendency to get jobs and quit them within a couple months, I told myself when I accepted the job at Michaels that I would stay there until June no matter what, and honestly, that's the only reason I'm still there. My last post was all about how wonderful my job is, and in theory it is, but... GRRR! I'm so frustrated! I hate feeling like a pawn, something to use, abuse and discard! I went in to work Saturday and taught two classes. I had 4 students registered but only 3 showed up. I was informed AFTER I taught the classes that the policy had changed as of that week and that instead of getting paid $33.50 for each class, I would only get $25.50 because I didn't have 4 students show up. I just got a $70 a month pay cut with NO warning. The crazy part about it is that next week, I will have four students in one class and 5 in the other, but they pay based on the first class attendance. I have been told by my Wilton manager that there is nothing they can do. It's in the computer and they can't override it. I am soooo mad I can't see straight! And it's not even about the money. We have definitely been blessed and while the extra $70 would be nice, it won't make or break us. It's more about feeling completely stepped on. Michaels doesn't want to lose money, so they take it out of our hide. And I'm frustrated with myself. They pay me for my classroom time, but not for all the work I do at home to promote it, to plan my classes and to make sure that I know what I'm talking about. Jason says I should just put in the bare minimum, what they pay me for, but I can't seem to make myself do that. If it's not perfect, why bother? I know it can't be perfect, but I don't want it to be sub-par because I didn't even try. Ugh! I'm so busy and would love to have my personal time back, but I don't want to quit yet another job. Why do I keep doing this? GRRR!

I was headed out to get the mail and heard some trickling water. The kids are asleep and Jason is at work, so I figured it must be the ice machine...until I looked outside. It's pouring down rain, so i decided to put my mail-getting plans on hold and sit down here instead.

It's very peaceful here right now. The house is quiet except for the sound of the rain and the clicking of the keys on the keyboard. It's not like this often around here. Mostly because I make myself so busy and fill my world with noise, without taking the time to just be. A nice thing to do every now and then :-).

My job is going very well. I'm starting to relax and enjoy myself and my boss is appreciating my work. I made a display for my classroom a couple weeks ago. It took me about 30 hours, so most of it was "pro-bono" work, since I only get paid $25 for my story boards. Yesterday, my manager asked me how many hours I spent on it. When I told her, she was floored! I don't think people who don't do cakes realize how much goes in to making them. Anyway, she came up to me a couple hours later while I was doing my demo and went over some paperwork with me. She told me that she wanted to make sure that I was getting compensated adequately because, in her words, "we really like you here, and we want to make sure that six months down the road, you don't look at your husband and say, honey it's not worth it." She gave me another display to do. This one pays $46, she provides the supplies AND I get to do it at home. SWEET! I was going to do a display cake for practice anyway and now she'll provide the supplies and I get paid for it. Free money!

I'm also really enjoying seeing people feel successful. One of my students sent me an email last week around 11pm of a cake she had done. A cute teddy bear she was practicing for her cousin's baby shower. She was soooo excited and it just warmed my heart that she would want to share it with me, and that I had played a part in her happiness. In my Saturday class, I have a student who joined because her friend wanted her to. She informed me the day they signed up that she would never be able to do it. I told her that yes, she would, and even if she never got the hang of the rose, she could at least do stars. She told me that as a kindergarten teacher, she could probably do stars, but that was it :-). Last week, she made some really cute cupcakes, with teddy bears, piped figures and flowers. She was so excited! She took pictures to show her dad in Florida. Now mind you, this woman has to be around 50 :-).

Another student on Saturday came into class and informed us that this was just not her thing. By the end of class, she was beaming as we all ooed and aaed over her cake with cascading flowers down the side. Now, my students' technique and execution sometimes leaves something to be desired, but the joy they get from creating something that they've never been able to do before makes me realize that it's not about perfection. My job has more to do with bringing people joy than it has to do with mastering the Wilton technique and to me, that just makes it all worthwhile.

Gabby has definitely developed a creative side as well. She spends literally hours coloring and/or painting nearly every day. She takes her coloring books and her crayons to bed with her and has almost learned to color within the lines. She loves to sing, as she always has. Her latest favorite song is "No one" by Alicia Keyes. She's so adorable in her little cutie voice, singing "No one. No one. No one!" at the top of her voice. Her beautiful blond hair is getting really long and she informed me today that she wants to grow it down to her feet ;-). She's also been growing like a weed. We measured her at 39" last week. Only one more inch to go before she can ride the bumper boats at Boomers!!! YAY!

She had her first kiss this weekend. My friend Kelli from church has a little boy who is almost 3. We went to pick up our kids from the kids program after church Saturday night and Kelli asked Drew if he wanted to give Gabby a hug. He walks up to her, gives her a hug, walks away, then turns around, walks back over to her and plants one on her lips. Too cute!! Kelli told me that maybe they would get married someday ;-). Whatever happened to arranged marriages anyway? I like this family :-).

James is growing up so fast! He's getting really excited for Kindergarten. We get to register him the first week of March. He's excited to go to school every day that Daddy goes to work. He is learning to count to 100, colors within the lines and is starting to sound out words. He's also learned how to tie his shoes. Both he and Gabby have been begging to do play dates with their friends and I've decided that I liked it much better when I got to choose their friends because it made play dates a lot easier.

Jason, poor guy, has to get a tooth pulled this week and an implant put in. One of his molars broke and unfortunately, it's at the very end of his mouth, so it's not possible to bridge it. We discovered through all this that dental insurance hardly ever covers implants and won't in this case. $2000 out of pocket. Thankfully, we have money left over from last year in an HSA, so it won't affect our day to day finances. Thank you, Lord!

Well, there seems to be a lull in the rain. I think I'll run out to the mail box.

Gabby

I have to go to bed, but I wanted to relay an interaction that Gabby and I had earlier today.

Me: "Gabby, I'm the luckiest woman alive because I get to be your mommy."

Gabby: "I'm the luckiest kiddo alive!"

Me: "Why?"

Gabby: "Because I get lots of princess stuff."

So much for a tender moment.

The good in the world

As we all know all too well right now, life can feel pretty heavy these days. Jason and I, for some reason, have been protected from hard hits as of yet, but too many people we know are REALLY struggling and sometimes, things look so gloomy and dismal. And yet, in the midst of all this, I have been struck by the good in the world. Perhaps all the hardships have created a backdrop where these things stand out, but whatever the reason, I wanted to share a few things that have jumped out at me and warmed my heart this week. First, I read this article on the drudge report. Pretty amazing!

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/miami-dade/st ory/904842.html

The other two things are small, but sometimes it's the small things that impact us the most. I've been waiting for our local Gottschalks to run Clinique's bonus. For those of you who don't know what that means, a couple times a year, Clinique, the makeup company that I buy from, runs a promotion where you get a bunch of free stuff (lipstick, mascara, eye shadow, etc.) when you buy a certain amount. It started today and I've been stretching my makeup until then so that I could get the free stuff. I went in today and all I needed was the foundation (I only buy two things from Clinique. The rest I get somewhere cheap, if at all). The minimum purchase to receive the bonus was $21.50. My foundation came to $20.50, of course. The sales associate tells me that with tax, it will be over $21.50 so she'll give it to me, even though technically she's not supposed to. THANK YOU! She didn't have to do that, but she did out of the kindness of her heart and I was really grateful. Then Gabby and I went to play in the kids area. Gabby had to use the restroom and on the way out, I asked Gabby if she wanted to share a soda. We couldn't agree on a flavor, so we decided to just not get anything. An older gentleman was walking by with his walker and dropped a whole bunch of quarters. I picked them up for him. Then he asked if Gabby wanted a soda. I told him that she was ok, that she has had a lot of junk food lately anyway. He asked how much the sodas were and I told him $1.25 as we started to walk away. He called after us: "I have a couple dollars. Do you want a soda little girl?" For some reason, that brings tears to my eyes as I type because this man didn't even know us. He had no idea whether we "deserved" a soda, or whether we were down on our luck, or anything. He just wanted to be nice. Now I'm dying to do the same for someone else. See, it's so easy to make someone smile. To warm their hearts and make their day and yet, how often do we do things like that? Gabby probably won't even drink her soda. She doesn't really care for pop all that much because it's "too spicy", but the selfless act of that older gentleman is something I definitely won't forget for awhile.

A new month, a new job, a new post

Life has just been trucking along here and I figured I should pop in for an update. I never would have guessed that I could get sick of winter (what winter?) in CA, but I'm ready for summer to arrive. I'm looking forward to the warm days when we can leave the windows open all day and the chance of rain is slim to none, where play dates at the park only get cancelled because of too much heat or poor air quality :-). I'm looking forward to being able to comfortably bbq every night of the week if we want to, although I really do need to figure out how to operate a bbq :-). Jason's our bbq expert, but when he doesn't get home until after 6, it's too late to cook the meat for dinner. I guess I'll make that my goal for the summer: learn to bbq. As all of you know, I have lofty aspirations in life :-).

I got to teach my first cake classes this week, to a total of 13 students in all. 9 the first night, 4 on Saturdays. My Saturday class is a HOOT!!! It's 4 elementary school teachers who are doing this just because it's fun and they are a riot! I had more fun in that class than I had had in weeks, and I got paid for it. Doesn't seem right in a way :-).

My manager told me that I have more students in my first class this year than they had all year last year. YES!!! Thank you, Lord! My Thursday class is so large (I know. Only 9. But that's large for a hands-on cake class) that I went up a pay grade. I get an extra $10 per class because of it. SWEET! I've been pretty stressed the last few weeks because of all the learning and organizing involved, but I really do enjoy what I do and I know the stress will diminish as I become more familiar with how everything works and build confidence in myself and my skills.

Jason's had a tough go the last few weeks, but still really seems to be enjoying his job. The kids LOVE having so much time with Daddy and I love the flexibility of him running home if I need to run out for an hour or so. He works incredibly hard and in return, he gets to set his hours and take time off when needed. Pretty good deal, all in all.

Gabby has definitely left her baby years behind. She is now 38" tall and has an incredible vocabulary. She sings her way through the day and tells story after story to her babies and stuffed animals at night. She has become quite the night owl (GRRR!) and would rather take a nap so she can stay up than skip her nap.

We had moved her gymnastics class from Monday evenings to Wednesday day because she was starting to skip naps and would be really tired by the time her class ended at 8 on Mondays. Unfortunately, when we switched her, she went from looking forward to gymnastics all week long to crying and clinging to me every time she had to go :(. She said the class was too big and that she missed her friends. I didn't realize that she was close to the girls in her Monday class, although now, looking back, the fact that she asked me every week if she could have them over for a play date should have been an indication. duh! After talking to her teacher, we decided to switch her back. She went back to her old class last night and the jump in her step was back. She was grinning ear to ear and she came out from the class at the end and said: "Mommy, that was fu-un!"

James has developed a strong interest in God and anything related to God. He started AWANAs two weeks ago and while the memorizing part is not his favorite, he loves the stories. I took him to Borders to pick out a new Bible with actual chapters and verses, rather than the kids' story Bible he had. I showed him the kids' Bibles with pictures and things, but he adamantly chose an NIV backpack Bible with no pictures. I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to get one with pictures and he said: "Mom, I don't want a Bible for the pictures. I want it for the words!" Over the last week, we have read Matthew 1 through 11, geneologies and all :-).

That's all for now! I need to go start the brownies so the kids and I can make Valentine brownie pops for James' class on Thursday.

Our kids :-)

James has memorized the entire Dr. Seuss book "The Lorax". He stumbles on a word here or there, but for the most part, he knows the whole thing. He likes to "read" it to us. It's so cute to hear him use the different voices like I do when I read it to him. I've attached a video of his musical rendition of "The Lorax" at the end of this post.

He is growing into such a big kid, both in size and skill. Today was laundry day for us and I washed all the sheets. I had put one blanket back on his bed for naps, but I didn't put on the second one because it was warm enough in his room without it. Tonight, he asked me to get down his other blanket and while I was putting Gabby to bed, he made his bed. He was sooooo proud of himself! He had an ear to ear grin and he asked me if we could add making his bed to his chore chart on laundry day :-).

Gabby has grown several inches this past week. She has completely grown out of her size 3T clothes. I actually thought I must have accidentally left some 2T clothes in her drawer when she put her pajamas on the other day, but no. They were 3T. She just REALLY grew. Her dresses have become mini-skirts. Thankfully, God has taken care of us once again and the neighbor gave us bags of 4T clothes that her daughter just outgrew, so no clothing issues there.

Not only has Gabby grown physically, she has also gained new skills. She LOVES to draw, so I didn't think much of  it when I saw her drawing this morning, until I noticed that she had drawn people, heads, body, arms and legs! And then this afternoon, she drew a heart. Last I knew, she was drawing circles and squiggles.

She may be growing faster than a bad weed, but she definitely has not outgrown her princessness. She informed me this morning that she wasn't pretending princess today. She was a REAL princess and that she and Wawa (her most faithful imaginary friend/sister) were going to be playing in their castle and she proceeded to her room and did just that :-).

Here's Gabby in all her cuteness: 

And James and "The Lorax":

Political Musings....

Jason Here... this post will infuriate some... But it's been something that I've had rolling around in my head for a couple of weeks now....

To preface these musings:

•  I have to say that I have never been, nor am currently interested in "Political Correctness".  Political Correctness is designed to do one thing and one thing only, assuage people of their own guilt by forcing a pre-concieved language of fairness on the masses.
  
• 15 Years in EMS has taught me one truth above all others in terms of human behavior.  Words don't mean things, they are meaningless.  Actions are the only things that have value.  Put another way:  It's not what you say, It's what you do that matters.  Basic psychology admits this... the best indicator of future behavior is past and present behavior... not words...

So as I give these words, I already understand they are meaningless... Having said that...

The last 16 years of American Politics have taught me that we truly are an empire in decline.  Our little experiment in self-government is failing before our eyes... the inmates truly do run the asylum.  And we, the commoners have no actual control of our own government.

Of course, pointing this out to people causes them to instantly get defensive whenever it comes near something that matters to them... many people still believe that it matters...

• I remember in 1994 when the Republicans took over congress and the executive, the cries from the press and Democrats about how our system of government was not designed to be based on "1 party rule"  As I recall, the Republicans in Congress even did rule changes to give the minority party more power in response to the "1 Party Rule" issue.
  
• Conversely now that Barack Obama has been elected, and has a Democratic majority in both congressional houses, suddenly "1 Party Rule" is ok, approved of, and even endorsed.

Gasp... I knew it... Jason is a Republican!  

• I was for the impeachment and trial of Bill Clinton.  I felt that lying under oath to a Federal Grand Jury (regardless of about what he lied about) was an important enough issue that it warranted a thorough vetting in congress.  And now the precedent is set, a sitting US President will never be impeached or put on trial in the senate for lying under oath.  The senate made the right decision, but it was still one of actually following the constitution and using the process outlined to come to that conclusion
• I was also for the impeachment of George W. Bush and trial by senate for the intentional misappropriation of congressionally allocated funds from Afghanistan to Iraq prior to the Iraq invasion.  He then also through policy deprived citizens of their guaranteed constitutional rights.  Pretty simple right... except a DEMOCRATIC congress wasn't even willing to follow the constitution and use the process...  Nobody had the political fortitude to actually do the one thing that the constitution required of them...  he should have been impeached in 2005, tried in the senate, and probably removed from office.

I knew it... Jason is a Democrat!.... 

So I know I'm supposed to give the unending praise and platitudes to his hopefulness, the savior on high sent to save us Barack Obama but lets be real... beneath the image that so many people have bought into is the truth... and the truth is... he is one of the inmates...

He sold hope and people bought it... and still are... meanwhile the inmates are going wild...  I give you bailouts and congressional pork, rising national debt on a roosevelt type belief that we can deficit spend our way out of our financial woes... meanwhile, the same people who support it because of a flawed belief in Roosevelt style "new deal" programs claim that Ronald Reagan's deficit defense spending in the 1980's was wrong...

Either deficit spending fixes problems or causes problems... make up your mind people...  It's either OK or it's not... 

We've already seen the Obama folks frantically trying to lower expectations as reality has nothing to do with what they sold...

So on the eve of the historic inauguration costing millions of taxpayer dollars (that we don't have) I know the politically correct thing to do is to praise the new President and look towards the future.

The Future:  We've replaced Captain Joseph Hazelwood with Captain Stubing and the ship still is run aground and leaking oil (money).  

But hope is a funny thing...  So I leave you with this bit of absurdity...

I think I'll have all my bills sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue from now on...

Herring Update?

There really isn't anything new going on here, but I thought I should give you all something to read anyway, since it has been over a week :-).

A cute story. James and Gabby were having lunch today before we had to leave to take James to preschool. I gave them their lunch and a salad fork. James picks up his fork, looks at it and says: "Mom, did you give me a kiddo fork? I need a grown up fork!" Gabby says: "I need a grown up fork too!" James: "Gabby, are you trying to be like me?" Gabby, in her cute little sweet voice: "No, James! I'm gwown up!"

My cousin Adam and his fiancee set a day for their wedding for May 30th, so it looks like the kids and I will be coming for an Oregon visit late May, early June! I can't wait to see everyone again, and especially to meet my new niece, who is due May 13th.

Let's see. Other news. Umm, pretty much the same old same old. I've been working hard to get the word out about my cake decorating classes. Michaels now has a 4 student minimum policy, so if I don't have at least 4 people signed up for a class, I have to cancel it. I'm hitting all the free outlets I can think of to advertise (craigslist, myspace, facebook, etc). We'll see what happens. I have to say though that getting all of the supplies I'm going to need at 75% off is SWEEEET! I had to buy a bunch of stuff to be able to teach the classes, but the nice thing is all of the demos I will be doing in January will cover the cost of that, so that even if I don't end up with any classes (not likely) I will still have a bunch of cool toys without having had to touch the "family" money *big grin*.

The weather here has been heavenly this week. Sunshine and 60s all week. I love the fact that our heater doesn't have to run at all during the day and that the kids and I can go to the park and not freeze our booties off.

Jp received a letter from Brendan yesterday and he cherishes that thing like it's gold. As a matter of fact, he's sleeping with it right now :-).

Excited!!!!

I had my orientation at Michaels this morning. I feel soooo blessed. I get to work at a job doing what I LOVE to do and get paid for it. How much better can it get?!

I'm a little thrown off by how much freedom I have, though. I wrote up a schedule, handed it to the store manager and she was perfectly fine with it. No changes. No suggestions. Whatever I wanted was fine. I told her some marketing ideas, but explained they would cost a little. No problem. She said she's completely aware that she will have to spend money to make money. I want to add special classes, teaching candy making, cupcakes, Kakes for Kids class. Again, GREAT! Um, aren't you supposed to tell me what I can't do, or tell me when I need to show up, or something like that? Freedom is a little...unnerving?  But no complaints here ;-).

Jp's new skill!

James can now ride his bike!!! He's been practicing so hard. Today, he was so determined to conquer this new skill that we decided to let him skip his nap so that he would have a few extra hours of daylight. He rode hard out there in the cold. We kept telling him how proud we are of him. His response: "I'm proud of myself too!" The next picture shows how he really feels about it all.

And of course, Gabby couldn't be left out!

I took a short video of James riding his bike. You can see it at 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRA_dEFSPk

And Gabby is at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjZdTvcQzFw 

Goober the Donkey

Our pastor preached a really good sermon this Sunday on Hebrews 13. One of the illustrations he used was that of a donkey named Goober. Goober is a real live donkey the church used in their Christmas performance. True to his kind, Goober was very stubborn and to make a long story short, they ended up having to use a back hoe to get Goober into the truck to take him to the church. Pastor David was using the story of Goober to illustrate the point that sometimes we move of our own accord when God tells us and sometimes He has to bring out the back hoe :-).

I feel like Goober tonight, bottom in the back hoe, feet flailing in the air. Funny image I know, and honestly, as worn out and utterly beat up as I feel after this week, I do see the humor in it, because I know that God loves me, even when I end up with my butt in a tractor. God has been working on both Jason and me on many levels. One of the resulting outcomes has been that I have decided to turn down the job as Wilton Instructor for Michael's. Without going into all of it, it's not where I need to be right now.

Please pray for us, as God continues to work. Pray that we would stay open to His will, that we would work together as a team, that God would strengthen our marriage and that in everything we do, we would bring honor to Him. It is my prayer for 2009 that everyone who comes in contact with us will see Christ in us and long to have what we have, to experience the love and peace that a true walk with God brings.